#January
im testing javascript here currently
NEW YEAR
2024 is gonna be my year, I feel it.
Okay maybe there's some sarcasm there but this started much better than last year so I'm positive.
January 2023 was like. "I'm never gonna make it. I can't do this another year" BUT I made it and I'm so proud of myself.
And things are going better in general? A lot of shit hppened but life also gave me good things.
I've decided I don't believe in things like bad luck or good luck anymore, life is too complicated to divide things like that.
Anyway!
Goals for this year?
I actually don't like making goals with deadlines beacuse I suck at doing things on time but I really hope I'll be able to develope this website properly.
I'm also going back to study some art basics because it's fun and I'd really like to make animations one day.
About art... I'm still neglectting my social media...
I thought I could create a little pace to put my art here too... I have some OCs I really love they're my blorbos (I still have no idea what's the plot or who they are exactly lol)
Wait I'm going out of topic. Let me rewind.
Goals for this year:
- website development;
- art basics + posting;
- be more emo /hj
Other unfinished projects I could work on:
- original characters;
- some of my Lego Monkie Kid AUs;
- put some more effort in school lmao;
- programming (for videogames);
- writing practice;
- watch something from my watch list. Not really aproject but it's so long I have medias to consume.
This is pretty much all for today.
I have a lot of homework I've been neglecting so you probably won't hear of me until 6
If you do it's not because I lied it's because I failed lol.
ELEVENTH.
Ok so new year started with a lot of bad signs lol. But I'm writing this while smiling right now so you don't have to imagine it like things are actually going shit.
But while I may not believe in luck I'm still kind of superstitious so I feel like writing a few things down. If you don't want the bad vibes then scroll down to the next day!
On 6th there was the 'piroea paroea'. It's an old ritual to burn a puppet made of straws on a big bonfire to drive away all the bad things of the past year. The direction of the wind is also used to tell how the harvest will be (which is a pretty old method now but still cool), if it comes from southwest then it's gonna be good, but this year it was from northeast and while I'm not good at geography I'm pretty sure that's Siberian wind...
Aside from that there's also a saying that goes "anno bisesto anno funesto" which is a pretty unreliable rule but it means that all years with 366 days will go bad. Last one was 2020 and uhhh....AT LEAST IT CAN'T GO WORST. Because it can't right. Right?
Anyway 2020 bad jokes aside. I'm not letting this get to me. I'm not having much of a bad time this far and things didn't got any worse til now so it's fine!
I hope you're having a great 2024 already and that your wind is blowing from southwest :)
THIRTEENTH.
Oggi c'era ginnastica ed eravamo in palestrina e io e S. abbiamo parlato di fnaf e my little pony tutto il tempo è stato divertente.
Ho reinstallato l'emulatore per la nds e uno per la PSP con i giochi di Sonic e del Team Rocket.
Ho anche il calendario lunare vediamo quanto dura haha
FOURTEENTH.
The day was not bad but I feel my brain kinda foggy... like I'm sad. Why?
FIFTEENTH.
I was feeling bad and I don't even know why... just really upset
SEVENTEENTH.
Oggi è il mio compleanno :D
A scuola non l'ho detto a nessuno ma ho detto a S. "ci credi che tra un anno avrò 18 anni" e lei che ne ha già diciotto mi ha detto "ci credi che io ne avrò 20" e penso davvero che abbiamo età troppo serie.
C'è una parte di me che vuole diventare grande subito per poter vivere da sola e fare più cose ma ho anche paura... non so.
Comunque oggi mi sento che scrivo come un bambino delle elementari aiuto. Che succede.
Habitica per ora funziona. Si basa tutto sul fatto che mi dà tanti soldi per le task ma allo stesso tempo li spendaccio tutti per costumi e attrezzature carine nel gioco e finisco per dover fare più task per avere le mie ricompense tipo YouTube... l'importante è che funziona immagino. E poi il widget è bellissimo ci sta troppo e posso sempre vederlo lì e non dimentico che l'app esiste lol.
NINETEENTH.
Durante l'ora di mate c'era un casino stavo esplodendo 😖😖. Poi io volevo vedere se sono aut. e allora ho insistito senza stim e guardando in alto per vedere se era troppo... idea scemissima lo so😣. Però credo stessi per avere uno shutdown. Dovrei considerare questo un segno per quell'aspetto e darci un taglio onestamente... ma dubito lo farò.
Forse parte del motivo che torno a casa sempre stanco e di malumore è l'overwhelm... o sono ancora gli strascichi della depressione, dopotutto le vacanze di Natale hanno quasi sfiorato livelli da 2022. A saperlo...☹️
Comunque per il resto una buona giornata.🤗😊👍
Sto aggiornando le mie credenze spirituali... tipo la reincarnazione e i cicli lunari 🌒 sono cose che hanno così tanto senso per me, più dell'intera storia c'è Dio è uno e tre e che non fa niente per fermare il male ma dobbiamo chiedere perdono 🤨...🤔
TWENTYTHIRD.
Next time I'm born I wanna be an axolotl. Head empty no thoughts. No worries.
This is such a weird way to say that I'm stressed but I gotta start from somewhere. S. today just realized how many years she'll have to spend in school still... yeah. That's not nice. I just wish I was better at comforting people. But I don't even know what to do or how to do with my life either and I don't think that helps.
This morning mum and dad had another argument. Something stupid, like always. But stupid things start piling up and getting worse and I don't think it's just "stupid things" anymore.
TWENTYNINETH.
I do not have a mental breakdown before every physics test...
But what if I'm not smart enough. What if I can't finish school and I can't find I job aand I can never leave this place.
I'm so stressed rn.